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 Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR

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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Tue Jul 27, 2010 11:24 pm

The perfect wedgie is the one you give yourself. . .
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:33 pm

It takes a tough man to make a tender chicken, but it takes only one dumb man to $%&* said chicken and ruin dinner for the rest of us. . .
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Wed Jul 28, 2010 11:50 pm

Actually have two for today:

Do not scratch your friends @$$ crack even though it may itch lest you find yourself with smelly fingers.
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Thu Jul 29, 2010 8:25 pm

testing. . .testing. . .is this thing on? No praises/comments? No rantings of disapproval? I WILL NOT BE IGNORED!

ahem. . .

anyway. . .

today's daily advice:

Always wear your seatbelt. . .unless of course you want to fly. . .
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jaredofmo
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:36 pm

What if there are no seatbelts, like on buses?

That disturbs me... I'm paying to ride this thing, yet there's nothing to ensure I'll make it there alive!
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Thu Jul 29, 2010 9:59 pm

jaredofmo wrote:
What if there are no seatbelts, like on buses?

That disturbs me... I'm paying to ride this thing, yet there's nothing to ensure I'll make it there alive!

busses normally don't tavel as fast as a car. . .plus most of the people will fly into the seat in front of them. . .
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Fri Jul 30, 2010 9:17 pm

Giving the timewarrior an eight doctor figure makes him happy. . .
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Sat Jul 31, 2010 10:30 pm

Feet cheese can be just as tasty as regular. . .if you flavor it just right. . .
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bret_owen99
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Sun Aug 01, 2010 5:15 am

flavor flav!
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Sun Aug 01, 2010 11:21 pm

Nobody likes daily advice columns. . .
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:51 pm

Liver and cheese dip don't mix. . .
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ReverendKain
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Mon Aug 02, 2010 10:54 pm

bret_owen99 wrote:
flavor flav!

Bass! How low can you go? Death row, what a brother know...
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Wed Aug 04, 2010 7:34 am

Drinking bleach is not a solution. . .plus it tastes really, really bad.
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Thu Aug 05, 2010 3:41 pm

Never light a fart at a wedding. . .


Also, be sure to post all your comments about how my daily advice has made your life complete. YOu know it has. . .go on . .admit it. . .

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jaredofmo
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Thu Aug 05, 2010 10:10 pm

Listening to the Timewarrior gets you so many women... Or men, if that's your thing.
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Thu Aug 05, 2010 11:06 pm

jaredofmo wrote:
Listening to the Timewarrior gets you so many women... Or men, if that's your thing.

Exactly! Follow my advice and happiness can be yours. All it takes is 70 monthly payments of 19.95!
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Sun Aug 08, 2010 3:22 am

70 gold coins won't buy you happiness, especially when they are made of chocolate and that chocolate is not hershey but that nasty chocolate that no one really likes but we eat it anyway because we all assume that any chocolate is better than no chocolate but in the end we're wrong because its really horrible and we wish we had some decent chocolate instead of this gold tin foil plated crap that sometimes smells and tastes like really good cheese or really bad feet. . .wait, where was I?

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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Tue Aug 10, 2010 2:21 pm

Be efficient in all that you do. . .pee when you shower.
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Fri Aug 13, 2010 6:40 am

This thread will never die as long as I am around.
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Wed Aug 25, 2010 3:27 pm

Never give up on your daily advice thread. Even if you travel through a time vortex and forget about it for a few days.
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Fri Aug 27, 2010 7:37 am

Make sure you have a GPS to help you find your GPS.

Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad Evil or Very Mad
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Sun Aug 29, 2010 11:32 pm

Still can't find my mother %$#^ing GPS! ARgh! Never give a sucker an even beak, and that's a lead pipe cinch!
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ReverendKain
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Sun Aug 29, 2010 11:36 pm

timewarrior wrote:
Never give a sucker an even beak

Buh? Neutral
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timewarrior
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Sun Aug 29, 2010 11:42 pm

ReverendKain wrote:
timewarrior wrote:
Never give a sucker an even beak

Buh? Neutral

It's a clue sherlock. . .to what am I referencing? Can you guess?
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ReverendKain
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PostSubject: Re: Daily advice by the TIMEWARRIOR   Sun Aug 29, 2010 11:44 pm

*grabs a parrot and a plunger*

Close? Neutral
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