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 Mattman's Mental Health Thread

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mattmanw54301
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PostSubject: Mattman's Mental Health Thread   Tue Apr 19, 2016 5:37 am

So, I need an outlet to put down my own thought process. Organize my consciousness, that sort of thing. Sometimes we all need to share things that we are dealing with. So here goes.

Almost 16 years ago, I started college. Fall 2000. 19 years old. Sheltered life. On my third day of class, my mother was diagnosed with uteran cancer. They did surgery to save her, but said that her life expectancy was 1-2 years. She survived, only to get meningitis. They thought that would kill her. She beat it too. About 7 years ago, she had a fight against MRSA, and beat that.

In 2010, she was diagnosed with a very slow-moving form of leukemia. The doctors said that she would most likely be in her 90s before it started growing. She had mild fatigue, but nothing too severe.

In january, a routine blood test showed that the cancer was growing. We tried chemotherapy, and she couldn't handle it. Now they are trying an oral medication to help her, which seems to be working for the time being. She just had a blood test yesterday, and there is zero cancer cell growth. So it is stopped in its tracks.

The problem is, I have had a friend, let's call him Steve. Now Steve is unemployed, smokes pot all the time, and lives with his mom. Along with his wife and his kid, who is graduating high school.

He and I got into a fight back in january, because he said that I needed to escape from living at home with my folks. My mom has been physically disabled since 2000. Dad works his hardest, but he is 65 now. I stay there, paying rent, for my own groceries, and doing house work as much as I can to help out. If I moved out, my folks would lose their house, which has been in my mom's family since it was built in 1911. I work full time, and pay all of my own bills.

So, we got into a fight. Then, I reconnected with another friend, let's call him Frank, who I hadn't spoken to since 2013. Frank has a son, almost 5, who I was there in the hospital room right after he was born. Frank and I go way back.

Anyways, Frank's son has a friend who is the same age. This kid has an inoperable brain tumor. Prognosis is not great, but the family is fighting tooth and nail. So every year there is this fundraising thing called St. Baldrick's. You go and get pledges, and then people volunteer to get their heads shaved. I got my head shaved, didn't raise too much money, but I was there to show support.

Now, Frank, my friend I just reconnected with, and Steve, my friend of 3 years, don't get along. At all. Steve knew I was hanging with Frank. But he chose that very day, while I was sitting in a tent ready to shave my head, to inform me that I was no longer his friend for hanging out with Frank.

I explained to him that it was for a good cause and I was trying to help out a family that was going through a sh%t show. But he couldn't let it drop for even one day. The drama could not be escaped.

So now it's been over a month since he spoke to me, and he expects me to feel bad because I refuse to choose between the two friends.

Sorry to be long winded, but I needed to vent. And you guys have some good advice.
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SeaDevil
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PostSubject: Re: Mattman's Mental Health Thread   Tue Apr 19, 2016 7:51 am

Cultivate whatever friendships you feel good about.  

It seems to me that Steve has a lot of issues and is taking them out on you.  The pot doesn't help him feel better, it makes his attitude worse.  I've seen it in friends of mine...once close trusted friends turn into paranoid jerks I don't even recognize and no longer connect with.

Your rekindled friendship with Frank is meaningful...your current relationship with Steve is poisonous.  If he won't support you and is treating you this way, you might want to consider letting him go.  If the core of the friendship is truly meaningful, you will eventually reconnect and hopefully Steve will in a "better place."
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mattmanw54301
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PostSubject: Re: Mattman's Mental Health Thread   Thu Apr 21, 2016 1:00 am

So, Steve is out my life. Not going to give him the time of day.

In other news, Mom got some good news from her cancer doctor. The blood work shows everything is in the normal range, so the new medication is working well.

RIP Chyna. She changed wrestling in the 90s.
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Cruel Angel
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PostSubject: Re: Mattman's Mental Health Thread   Thu Apr 21, 2016 12:19 pm

mattmanw54301 wrote:

RIP Chyna. She changed wrestling in the 90s.

Sad

news shocked me when i read it this morning.

met her at a con here just last year and she was talking about making a comeback and rebranding herself.

sigh.

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squishy
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PostSubject: Re: Mattman's Mental Health Thread   Thu Apr 21, 2016 1:07 pm

So sad that none of the professional wrestlers seem to have long and happy lives. Each one seems to end in an early, tragic death.
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mattmanw54301
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PostSubject: Re: Mattman's Mental Health Thread   Thu Apr 21, 2016 1:24 pm

Prince is dead too
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Ronpur
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PostSubject: Re: Mattman's Mental Health Thread   Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:30 pm

Steve does sounds like he has issues. If he can't be your friend because you are friends with someone else, you do need to move on with him. I had two friends who were married. Then they got divorced. But, I remained friends with both, I just don't hang out with them at the same time. They joked that they got jointed custody of me. Something like that should have worked, but if he can't handle it, oh well.

It does not sound like you are living with your parents because you need to, but because they need you. And that is awesome. To criticize you for that when he is in the same living situation is just unbelievable. Especially considering your parents situation. Family is first.

Really bummed when I heard of Chyna this morning, then Prince....dang, what a bad day.
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Ronpur
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PostSubject: Re: Mattman's Mental Health Thread   Thu Apr 21, 2016 5:31 pm

Oh, and awesome news about your mom. I hope she keeps it up, she sounds like a fighter!!


F@#K CANCER!!
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