To me, Punisher has always worked best as a character separate from the rest of the Marvel U. To this end, the Punisher MAX series was always my favorite. R-rated, and operating in a more 'real' world without any costumed heroes. Although, they did introduce Kingpin and Bullseye toward the end of the series.
The 80s Dolph Lundgren movie was a fun revenge film, but didn't bear much resemblance to the comic character. Thomas Jane's Punisher was much closer, but I'm not sure the grand Shakesperean plot of revenge he had fit that well with MY Frank Castle. Now, War Zone, IMO, came closest to capturing the feel of the MAX comics. Except for the cheesy dialogue, this one stayed pretty true to the roots of the character. One problem is that Frank ages in real time. In the MAX books, he was a vietnam vet. But the movies are all set in present day, so they have to have him be younger.
The Garth Ennis Punisher Max run, lasting 66 issues, is some of the most brutal stuff you will ever see in a Marvel book. As I said, War Zone comes close to the level of sadistic violence in this run.
So it depends on your taste. Thomas Jane's Punisher feels like a more violent part of the larger Marvel Universe (Like Netflix's Daredevil). It's plausible to see his Punisher interacting with Spiderman, or the Avengers. Still r-rated, but there's kind of a brutal nobility to what he does.
Then with War Zone, it's off the leash ultraviolence. This punisher would bury a machete in Spiderman's skull. But your mileage may vary.
The only non-official Punisher film I have seen is Dirty Laundry, and that is an amazing achievement. Thomas Jane plays a nameless vigilante, and teaches some harsh lessons to street thugs. I actually watched this with a friend of mine who is a cop, and he loved it too.